I lost an important person to me yesterday.
There have been two very strong matriarchs in my life, their collective weight probably totaled less than 150 pounds— my grandmother Anne Chatham (“Gran”) who passed nearly four years ago, and the other, Ruth Nichols (“Fooey”), who passed away yesterday.
Both of these women were formidable to me and could give the Dowager Countess from “Downton Abbey” a run for her money: opinionated, strong, take-no-prisoners, both saw a lot in their lifetimes, lived well into their 90’s, and they both were tiny.
To say I adored both of them would be an understatement, and I think I am taking Fooey’s death hard, because selfishly, and even though I am in my mid-40’s and trying to “adult” as best I can, I can no longer run to my grandmother’s house when I am upset and in need of a hug or a caramel apple.
About Fooey
When I was little, I couldn’t pronounce my ‘r’s so Ruthie most easily morphed to “Fooey,” and to this day, I never called her Ruth or Ruthie, it was always Fooey.
In the summers I would go to “Camp Fooey’s” for a week or two. I swam for hours; hit a tennis ball against the garage door; colored page upon page with my fruit-scented markers, then sold said colored pages to her (for a price); played Mad Libs with her; and ate bear claws in her bed all the while getting hooked on “All My Children” and learning Relationship Issues through the eyes of Erika Kane.
We made truckloads of caramel apples; ate blueberry waffles with ice cream and syrup for dinner; and she taught me a very important life skill: how to catalog shop with a discerning eye. My favorite activity though, was sitting on her bed, talking and watching TV, with one of her mother’s many hand-quilted quilts tucked “up just to our noses.” I asked a lot of questions about those hand-quilted quilts over the years, not knowing then that those very quilts would inspire me to pursue a life-long career in the quilt industry.
Having been away from California for nearly 25 years and moving back fairly recently, gave our relationship a boost. I could see her more frequently and the last few visits, she would rifle through her jackets and blouses in her closet, tell me to try them on, and then say, “Oooh, you look darling in that! Take it!” (Whether I liked the jacket or not, I had no choice, I had to take it.)
This picture…this picture just makes me choke up, every time.
It is a picture of Jim Timmins helping Fooey walk across the street to a restaurant in downtown Los Altos. I have no idea what possessed me to take this, but I snapped it on my iPhone and I am so grateful I did, because to me she’s just adorable in it.
Oh, Fooey, I am going to miss you. Thank you for being in my life. I was the luckiest of granddaughters.
Oh Pokey, I know Fooey is watching out for you even now. You may not believe it, but I know it is true. 🙂
That said, do you know how much YOU have influenced me and so many others? It sounds trivial yet you are such a positive influence to many… for that I thank you.
Fooey/Ruth, I never met you yet, through Pokey, I have been Blessed. Thank you! Watch over Pokey always and let her know you are still around… okay.. freak Pokey out a bit with it. :)))) Make her laugh. And thank you!
Thank you, Christina! Your comment means so much. Thank you…
A beautiful tribute. You are a fortunate woman indeed. Here’s to strong women!
I was! So looking forward to seeing you next month! Maybe we can have a special toast to strong women who have influenced us. 🙂
beautifully said Pokey….. she’ll always be with you…
Thank you, Natalya. Hope our paths cross again sometime soon,
Nice tribute, Pokey. Please accept my condolences.
Thank you, Alin.
Oh! Pokey! Such a loss. My mom passed away when she was 46 (and I was 21) and my beloved maternal grandmother, who was my personal hero, left three years later. A lifetime ago really, but the loss is still fresh to me.
We hold these women in our hearts as well as in our DNA. The loss may become less raw with time, but the loss never leaves.
I wish you and your family prayers of comfort, love and light.
Thank you, Marie. And I am so sorry you lost your mom so young…
so sorry to hear about Fooey, Pokey… life is full of loses that we cannot believe and find so hard to accept. But she helped you be what you are today and you honor her when you go forward; you are HER legacy. You were so fortunate to be able to have been with her and acquired all the wonderful memories that you have. Many of us don’t. That said, it does not make it one drop easier to live without her. I think you may find that she is still with you, in your heart and sometimes-you will think in even more ways than that!
Thanks so much for your kind words, Sharon.
So sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was a wonderful woman and you are very blessed to have had her in your life! (BIGHUGS) <3
I was, Lisa. Thank you. And see you soon! 🙂
May Fooey sounds like she was a beautiful person who lives now in your heart and the good works you do.
Thank you, Justine.
I’m so very sorry about your grandmother’s passing; she sounds like a wonderful women. I am glad you have so many happy memories of her and with her. Those memories will help keep her in your heart.
Yes, the memories will. Thank you for writing, Lynne.
Celebrate her life with your memories! Beautifully written. Sending prayers for comfort. I am sorry for your loss.
Thank you!
I’m so very sorry about your grandmother’s passing; she sounds like a wonderful woman. I am glad you have so many happy memories of her and with her. Those memories will help keep her in your heart.
Thank you, Lynne!
So sorry. This post reminded me of my grandmother who lived to be 92. I was very close to her like you were yours. They will always be with us.
Thank you, Jody. Weren’t we lucky to have them for so long?
So sorry about your loss. How lucky you were to have had such a wonderful relationship and all those fabulous memories. Mary Ann
I was Mary Ann. Happy holidays to you,
Dear Pokey,
Reading your stories about your sweet grandmother made me think of my short time I spent with my grammie when I was little. Sending a big hug. M
Hug back to you, Michele! Happy holidays and thank you for your comment.
What a remarkable woman and what treasured memories she has left for you.
Yes, she did. Thank you Sherrie. Happy Holidays!
I am so sorry for your loss. Do you realize how very fortunate you are to have had such a wonderful person in your life? Neither my daughter or myself have had such wonderful grandmothers in our lives. Through your description, I can realize how wonderful that must have been. My own grandmothers were gone very early in my life and my own mother does not wish to be such a godsend to my daughter. I fill in as best I can. God bless you and your memories, and may other grandmothers bless their granddaughters with such wonderful memories.
Mary, yes, I realize I was so lucky. My best to you…and being the matriarch in your own family. I hope you have a happy holiday season with your family. Hugs to you,
A deep and sacred place within that you hold and are in Pokey.
Many blessings in this space.
Thank you, Eileen. Happy Holidays to you!
Oh how lucky you were to have a grandmother that you were close to! I lost one of my grandmothers when I was in the 9th grade. She would push all of the furniture against the wall and show me how to do the Charleston (an old dance?). And man, could she cut a rug!
Every single person on God’s green earth needs a person like that in their life.
Every one.
Thank you, Carol. Your grandmother sounded like so much! Hope you and your family enjoy a happy holiday season and embrace those memories,
What wonderful tribute. You could not have said it any better.
Thank you, Pauline. Happy Holidays to your, your family, including your pooches…
So sorry for your loss, Pokey.
Thank you, Betsy. Happy Holidays to you and your family,